As it turns out, the lawyer used to be a domestic violence prosecutor for 5 years. She didn't give me advice anywhere near as good as you all did! She did indicate that it will cost me a LOT of money because my H hasn't been working for the past 9 years and I've been supporting him. It's not that he can't hold a job, he just chose not to (which I allowed, so I have culpability). In my state it means I owe him 50% of everything I have. Sigh.

I'm scared to say anything but know I have to soon. I'm just waiting for my T to come back from vacation so I have a place to talk, fret and be panicky.

Thanks so much for your support. I'm sorry so many people have already walked this path.