The you in the past sounds a lot like me in the present. I always feel that I have to earn everything. Everything from material goods to relationships. More than anything, I want to love and be loved. I have to earn it. Perfect grades, hard work, losing weight, and etiquette are all things I must uphold on a daily basis. But even though I do all of this, I feel emptier than ever. I still do not deserve to be loved, and my friends must hate having a worthless friend like me.