I am in a turmoil of feelings right now. Angry, scared and sad. I recent got approved for SSDI for $921 which will go up to $1250 when my dependents get added. I will be eligible for Medicare July of next year. I was real fortunate and my government job gave me $2574 per month in long term disability but it ends now that I got SSDI and a back payment. I am still not well and have days where I weep and can't get out of bed. I need my SSDI safety net and Medicare. If I try and work now I am screwed. If I at least wait until July of next year I can use the Ticket to Work Program and I won't lose Medicare and benefits if I try and work and fail. My wife says what if she gets sick and that her job is stressful too. I guess she does not want to be the sole breadwinner but she has to realize I have serious mental illness and was receiving shock therapy only a year ago. I hope this does not break up our family....

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