Open eyes, you did it again. You made me cry in a good kind of way. It hurts to know that someone cares. I know that sounds crazy. But I think you might understand. It hurts in the best possible way.

I can relate to what you were saying to the victim mentality. I am not feeling strong enough right now to take that leap. Instead I'm creeping like a snail towards a better place.

I was thinking about a very special little arabian horse. He was beaten and starved then turned out in a corn field and the corn stalks drove into his lower legs and it became big ugly scars. He was a great breeding horse though. One day I went in the barn w/ him (at his new home). I was talking to him and was in the stall w/ him. He was so relaxed w/ his head laying on my shoulder while I talked to him that my shoulder begin to ache. He was so relaxed. When the owner found where I was she was acting all weird. Trying to calmly get me away from this horse because he was a minice. He was really a big baby who had been hurt so much. Over time the man of the house was able to bond w/ this horse it took submission on the mans part to show the horse he was not going to hurt him. Generally you do not show submission to a stallion but this case was so much different. I helped work w/ this horse. I would sit in his pin and let him come to me. After awhile he would stand by me, some times he would even push me and want petted.

We can overcome our barrier's. A gentle hand and a kind word go along way. To be shown that you will not be hurt again takes awhile. That is how it was for this horse that is also how it is for my H and I. He has to show me he will not hurt me. He has to be quiet, calm, and gentle even in the face of anger and frustration. Some day I hope to overcome the victim mentality and move on in a positive direction.