Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
What I have to say probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'm much older than you and have much more life experience.
She just doesn't seem stable enough for you to keep waiting for her. She doesn't seem to know what she wants. One minute she wants to be in this relationship and the next minute she wants space. One minute she's in love and the next minute she doesn't know. What's going on here?
She definitely needs to see a therapist to help her work thru her issues. And perhaps she'd be open to that suggestion, I really don't know.
All I'm saying is that you're going to be waiting forever for her to make up her mind. I don't think it's fair for her to keep you waiting like this, knowing that you're ready to make a commitment. Granted, you did keep HER waiting at one time, but since then she's kept you waiting off and on several times. This relationship is too unstable to work. She isn't willing to WORK on this relationship to MAKE it work.
Find someone who IS willing to work on a relationship. Find someone who cares for you as much as YOU care for her. You deserve to have a partner who wants a life-long partner -- who is willing to put in the work that it takes to keep a relationship going. She doesn't seem to be willing to do that. Move on -- and find that someone. I don't think you've found the "love of your life" yet. She's still out there waiting for you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee  |
Thank you for your reply. It is hard to hear these things, but I need to hear it. There are things that I want to hear and want to believe because I want it to work so badly, but I need outside opinions to give it to me straight.
She has been seeing a therapist on and off. I actually recommended it to her originally. I have asked her to go to couple's therapy with me and she originally agreed, but quickly backtracked and said she didn't think we should unless we were actually together. It doesn't seem right to me.. I think it would have helped. But you are right, she simply is not committing and she is not showing the effort that I so badly want to see from her. I have spent the last 15 months waiting, telling myself that if we can be together then it would all be worth it, but I'm afraid that it will be all for nothing. I love her and I will always love her. I just wish these feelings of rejection and feeling unloved didn't mentally handcuff me so badly. I want to fix my life, but I can't help but feel depressed over this. Thank you again my friend.