Passion to me I think that might say you need to work on your self esteem, maybe some thought processes, cognitive thought distortions.. stuff like that. Sound less about the bipolar and more about what's going on internally in your thought process. If you can work on that stuff you would very likely see some change in the emotions that come with it. My opinion anyways.

Becoming med free actually took me quite a while, it was kind of a slow process. I don't think ideas about "well look at me on meds.. I am a mess, how would I be off them? " is a very good predictor, unless the plan is to just drop the meds and not do other stuff to get things in order, but that doesn't sound like your plan. Maybe it would help to not focus on the meds right now or no meds, and just focus on the work you can do to get healthier. Just take it from there. Really whether you stay on them or not you probably want to address what ever you need to to feel more peaceful in life anyways right.