ok time for a story...

my best buddy fine lad a good man heart of gold better shiny hardly old!

...probably were not so good for each other got ourselves into trouble likewise out of it...

never been punched so many times by anybody he was an angry guy....drank too much had a bad streak...all weekend and the most of the week!

my best mate...where is the line?....on caring on daring to care even that bit more?

I blew it!....thats how I feel...just out of jail he came to see me...I was done with the angry crap! after last time we nearly killed each other...2 bipolar men from the outside world?......turned him away and he died 2 days later...

overdose......and he was like my brother...but it was obvious one of us was gonna go...I always expected it to be me...I wonder he tried harder to fk up cos he was 7 years younger than me I don't know?...but?

...if I just let him beat all that jailhouse crap out of me that night?...

and yet we were like brothers...and I was not allowed at his funeral cos I was pissed for 2 months...

that was 3 years ago...until todays little adventure...I forgot just how alone I am

...but it's ok