It's not your fault he died. I'm sorry you lost your friend that way.

I always blame myself for my mom. First I blamed myself for being born, because maybe if she hadn't been pregnant her immune system would have been stronger and she would have not gotten cancer. But, then I learned that having babies can protect a woman from cancer, and making milk for the baby. So, that wasn't it. But then, you see, when she was in the hospital that last time the doctors pulled me and my dad aside. They said "If she goes into cardiac arrest do you want us to resusitate her?" And my dad said he couldn't think about that, he couldn't decide that. And so they looked at me, and all I could think is her mad at me to pick up my toys because if she fell she would break her hip or something. That her bones were brittle. And I thought about the difibulator shaking her body and it would break all her bones, so I said no. And I feel like, I gave up before even letting them try....

But I was only a little kid, and how could I know? I had so little experience to base my decision on.