Please find someone to talk to or even just writing it down in a journal would be better than nothing. It's not good to keep it all inside. I use to do that for 22 years and now I am forcing myself to let it all out because I had gotten to the point of suicide from holding everything in. It's not healthy to do that so now I go to therapy which helps me a lot. Doing a lot of online support groups as well will help too. Just hang in there and try to talk with someone! *hugs*