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Old Dec 05, 2012, 05:30 PM
Lenard Lenard is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Posts: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by geez View Post
I've been on meds for 4 weeks and I had my breakdown 4 weeks and 1 day ago. Thankfully I was in my T's office when I decided to confess to someone I wanted to end my life.

Since starting the meds I've gone back to certain phases of disappointment and reality in my situation. In the beginnning before I started my day treatment program I thought in my head: I'll take the drugs for a couple weeks and I'll be back to normal once I get a blood level. I was pretty good up until today about getting my exercise in. I was able to force myself to do it for many weeks and today I just layed on the couch most of the day as today is my day off from the outpatient program (my plan was to go to the gym).

Today I feel like I am at a bare minimum of doing one thing like bring my son to school and then I'm exhausted and I have to go lay down and take a nap. Tomorrow I have plans on running before program but I'm not sure it's possible. I'm tired of fighting and I want to just give in to the depression and let it take me over. I feel like my will is broken.

At night my sleep isn't that great so I'm sure that's not helping. I'm going to see if I can get something to help with sleeping at night. I'm great at falling asleep but I don't stay asleep. I usually wake up for a couple hours in the middle of the night.
Hi

I'm new to the group and saw your thread while browsing. Your situation may
have changed but you sound like me over 10 years ago.

I have had clinical depression since 2003. Some people find the right med in
a short amount of time and begin to feel better. I hope that for you.

People like me aren't that lucky. Sometimes you have to try several meds
to find one or a combination of 2 or more that work. All you can do is hang
in there until that time.

If you would want to converse more please let me know. I hope you are
feeling better now.

Lenard
Hugs from:
geez
Thanks for this!
geez