Quote:
Originally Posted by geez
I've been on meds for 4 weeks and I had my breakdown 4 weeks and 1 day ago. Thankfully I was in my T's office when I decided to confess to someone I wanted to end my life.
Since starting the meds I've gone back to certain phases of disappointment and reality in my situation. In the beginnning before I started my day treatment program I thought in my head: I'll take the drugs for a couple weeks and I'll be back to normal once I get a blood level. I was pretty good up until today about getting my exercise in. I was able to force myself to do it for many weeks and today I just layed on the couch most of the day as today is my day off from the outpatient program (my plan was to go to the gym).
Today I feel like I am at a bare minimum of doing one thing like bring my son to school and then I'm exhausted and I have to go lay down and take a nap. Tomorrow I have plans on running before program but I'm not sure it's possible. I'm tired of fighting and I want to just give in to the depression and let it take me over. I feel like my will is broken.
At night my sleep isn't that great so I'm sure that's not helping. I'm going to see if I can get something to help with sleeping at night. I'm great at falling asleep but I don't stay asleep. I usually wake up for a couple hours in the middle of the night.
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Have you told your Dr about the effects of your medication on you are? As Leed pointed out, those feelings can go away once you have been on the medication for a while, but it may also be that your system doesn't do well with that particular medication.
When I was put on medications, they all caused reactions that rendered me unable to walk, there were hallucinations, and most made me nauseated. My system is overly sensitive to medications though, and that was a long time ago. The point is, if one drug hits you too hard, there are other ones, and it never hurts to ask.
A big reason people go off medications for psychiatric problems is because of the side effects. Others stop because they can't feel. I had a close friend in high school that was bipolar. She would start the lithium, then, when she started to feel better, she would stop taking them thinking that she didn't need them anymore. She also said they made her feel numb emotionally.
The newer medications have less side effects than the ones that were available twenty years ago. There are also more of them. Its worth looking into.
Feel better
Sam2