Thanks for listening.

I guess I do this thing where I just talk and hope someone has something to say. I guess there is just something about me where people just don't feel a need to talk to me. It's the same with my parents, if I'm upset, they leave me alone. Everyone's attitude is either "I can't help her" or "It's her own problem." I just want someone to listen to me. Maybe it's that I haven't seen T in three weeks. I don't really want to. I might not go to my next appt either because I have a conflict that I might not have time to resolve. I've dug a whole with T because I always lie to her anyways. There is something about her that makes me want to lie. She's just so happy and so pretty, I just can't tell her really how I feel about stuff. And I always feel worse when I leave. I know I need to be honest with her for anything to happen, but it is really hard for me. Then I guess I go to the internet where, because there are no faces, I feel like I can say what I feel, but I just end up talking to myself.

I think what I do is just allow myself to get swallowed by my feelings. I know that if I just got over everything a lot quicker, I'd be so much more productive!