Petunia,

I can understand how that book containing the past sorrows comes out at times & unfortunately, it opens itself up to the pages that seem to hurt the most.

I have found that the the book that haunts me doesn't even take a family death to bring it out......all it takes sometimes is a TV show, a dream, a comment that's just in passing, a fleeting thought. Any little thing brings out all the emotions & anger that is penned up inside of me. I think for me, the book never goes all the way back onto the shelf. It seems like it is just balancing on the edge just waiting for the slightest little bump.

I know that you have so many sad issues that are written in the book. I think at times that the memories are so deeply etched on the pages that they never will fade away. When there is nothing that can cause closeure, there is nothing that helps them fade away.

I must be sounding very negative & I really should have a much more positive outlook on the past. For some reason, it just doesn't seem to me that when there isn't anything to help us put the past into a better perspective, there will be nothing there to fade the memories.

I do hope that you will be able to keep that book away from you for awhile so you can get some peace back into your life before it hits you again. My ears are here to listen to what you have to say & to help you know that you are understood & cared about,
Debbie