I can't sleep, and I don't even want to. I need to try to separate this past trigger from the present, but you are nowhere to be found and I'm not allowed to call unless I follow a list that doesn't exist. I am afraid to call and cross a boundary because the last thing I want is a boundary discussion. I don't want to trust you anymore, or anybody for that matter. I'm not coming next Wednesday, because if I have to wait until then, I might as well extend it to forever. I feel inconsequential, and I hate it. I don't want to accept my emotions, I despise them. Be free.