Was in the hspital after being put n Ativan that didnt work in my favr. Ended up calling 911. The emts of course had to be men and I dont know why but they circled me and when I back awa on came twards me and it was so scary. One f them actually was nice and figured out I was afraid and he was actually very good.
The er was pretty uneventful. The put me in the mhw the nurse at first said she had to search me and I lost it and freaked out thankfully they never did actually search me.
I feel worse now then when I went in I dont know what the point was. I told them flat out that I still wanted to self harm and felt somewhat suicidal. I had a panic attack the night before I was released and again right after discharge ended back up in th er and they sent me home alone on a bus.
I got confirmed again I have ptsd but I knew that. The meds arent helping I told my gp and she just seemed angry with me. I did get a letter f approval for a service dog though.
Overall though I just feel so so so horrible. I really feel like none of the doctors care. My therapist was understanding but thats what he is paid for. I am just sick of feeling this way I feel so alone so afraid and so worn out. I wish I was strong enough just to end it because I really dont know hw much more I can take. I still loove my dogs and they keep me going but I have been feeling so bad even that is becoming a strugle. I cant act right around people especially men nr d I feel safe and it seems like everything triggers me yet I dont feel like Im safe alone right now with how I feel