Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Chopin, forgive me for talking about you in the 3rd person here! (because you know I'm also saying this for you, too!)  |
You can talk about me in the third person. It becomes a problem when
I start talking about myself in the third person!
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
I'm basing what I'm saying strictly on Chopin's shared perspective on her T, in which her T seems pretty empathic and well-trained. I doubt she's lost those qualities in the last week. I trust that she's seeing Chopin where she is realistically which may be differently from where Chopin saw herself in that moment. Perhaps she wanted to align her response with Chopin's capable and empowered self, since that's the part that is facing new challenges at work.
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It felt as if she was "body-snatched" yesterday. I'm willing to admit that she may have been acting out of confidence that "you can do it", but there was definitely an element of distraction, which correlates to your comment below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Perfect matching in mood of response to communication isn't realistic or necessarily beneficial all the time. It's rather reminiscent of how we talk about interaction between a baby and Mother, but not how we talk about interactions between adults.
Handling the interaction as you've refashioned it may be appropriate in some situations, but not necessarily for all, or at all times. I don't think that means T is somehow deficient or lacking.
Sometimes a T chooses to validate a part of the personality that isn't reflected in the mood of the moment because it can strengthen that part of the personality and bring it to the forefront. It's in the skill of the T to be able to discern when that's appropriate, and when it isn't.  |
Here's the funny thing about all this; I can be one of the most logical and intellectualizing people on this forum if I allow myself to do so. However, T hates when I do this. I know T's are humans with flaws and the same propensity to make mistakes as others. I think the way she handled yesterday was simply an unintentioned misstep on her part, which was probably exacerbated by her distraction/standoffishness. She has been willing and able to communicate my strengths and new-found skills while still being kind. She seemed unable to do so yesterday. I believe something else may be going on in her life (I do know her oldest stepson-my age-is headed for Afghanistan next month with what she believes is inadequate training in situational awareness; he's a Navy nurse with his only experiences in Naval hospitals being reassigned as a Marine medic in the field).
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
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They are important because they can tell us a great deal about our current emotional state. However, I believe they are not facts. Our emotional lenses and filters are clouded by our wounds, hurts, and life experiences (that sounded good didn't it...those were my own words
).
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
:When I get in a paranoid place, all my fears feel true. I need to remember:
Paranoia is my enemy. T is my friend.
Not the other way around.
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This is really good to remember. For me, the mantra would be: "Fear and paranoia are my enemies; T is my friend."
Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah
(((chopin))) I know it's hard for you right now. You have big big stuff going on, your life is upside down, your sleep isn't balanced, your schedule is off with H working nights...soon to end woot....med adjustments, pain management, work restructuring, dealing with office politics....etc etc etc....
I am logically minded, so I will basically shut it, I realize feelings aren't logical. One thing to think about though....
Sometimes I have to rephrase things like "she triggered me" to "I was triggered by something she said". Semantics? probably....but just remember the triggering wasn't an aggressive act by her.
oh...and one more |
Wiki, darlin': thank you. When I woke up and saw your reply, I thought to myself, "This,
this is what I'm looking for...from the forum, T, H, friends, etc." You are logically-minded, but you took all my current life issues (even remembering some I didn't mention here from the couch) into consideration, offered a very helpful piece of advice (plus I like words and semantics), and gave me a hug.
Feelings aren't facts. They are not logical. I believe they tell us things we need to know about ourselves. T did say I have a lot going on right now. I do; everything you mentioned above plus the holidays.
You are correct in saying "I am triggered by things she said." She didn't intentionally trigger me. I really believe she was distracted yesterday. Anyway thanks again for your thoughtful reply.