Since you can't see a therapist, can you at least see your medical doctor? He can at least prescribe an antidepressant. Please don't say you don't WANT to take one because we're talking about your very LIFE here. I've been on antidepressants for over 30 years now, if not close to 40. I've been depressed since I was a very small child. I know all about depression, and wanting to end it all, but the antidepressants change all that.

They really do make a difference. Some take up to 6 weeks to take effect, and with some it only takes a few days or a couple of weeks to take effect. So you can wait that long for relief. And believe me, it IS relief!! It feels like the whole world has been taken off your shoulders, and you've been "reborn."

Please see your doctor. There is nothing wrong with taking these meds and they are NOT addictive. Get some help for yourself, and maybe in time you'll be able to see a therapist and get off the antidepressants. But for now, take them. One thing tho -- do NOT abruptly stop taking them because that's VERY DANGEROUS. It could cause seizures and very bad withdrawal effects if you stop all of a sudden. Just thought I'd warn you about that in case the doctors don't.

God bless and please take care. And let us know how you do, okay? Hugs, Lee