I can relate sadly

Looking back, my daughter now 18 was just like that. And along with my problems, cleaning is not my strong suit. My mom couldn't teach me how, and I couldn't teach my daughter how.

Looking back, so many things could've been better if we'd been more organized. It's a huge stressor to me, but still I can't get organized.

I think I asked you before, have you tried valium?? Kind of joking but not really. You need to be able to stay calm to deal with this sort of situation.

Could you tell her that you're going to help her get it in order, and help her get a fresh start with it? But from now on, after this time, she is expected to clean up after herself. If she does not, you could tell her you can help remind her, but there will not be any tv, new toys coming out, or whatever, until she cleans up her recent toys.

I feel for you mama, and I never want to raise kids again, it was not what I bargained for and single at that. My youngest is 11 and I'm so done. Plus the 18 & 17 yr old could start having puppies any time here, holy *****. Babies are adorable, but then omg it's tough.