Chris, I can relate to small things that build up over time. I was convinced I had AvPD also, but after working with a therapist she told me it does not seem I have it. What I do have is a combination of low self-esteem, self-doubts and social phobia - which could have led to AvPD if I hadn't had some protective factors going on. Bullying and other negative social experiences were definitely a problem for me.

Anyway, diagnoses can get very technical. For every one person who clearly meets diagnostic criteria for a specific disorder, there are many more who can relate to some of the symptoms but not all. It is the quantity and severity of symptoms that clinches a diagnosis. The important thing is to address the issues we have, regardless of where we are on a scale of symptoms.

Self-acceptance is important. What I mean is, after repeated rejection and invalidation people tend to reject and invalidate themselves - self-doubts. I congratulate you on opening up and being so thorough. It would be beneficial for you to share this with a therapist.