you are a unique person tango for lasting 8 months ,you understand that your will power is not so strong as you would have hoped, i know how you feel i felt like that last October but unfortunately i went to far and too deep,i used an extremely dangerous tool to do it and they have not healed yet, i still get low and yes i think about doing it but i just look at my arms and see the damage and it stops me because the next time might be my last.
i find music helps me through it or watching a funny film

i hope you keep well

keep smiling