Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't understand why it's a good idea or even permissible for your H to talk to your T about anything, just because he wants to. It seems like a boundary problem to me. Just because you have "stuffed up" your marriage, doesn't mean that your H should be able to go in and have a talk with YOUR T. I don't get how that is therapeutic for you (or, really, your H, he should get his own T if he needs to process whatever is happening in your marriage). If my H said that he wanted to go talk to my T about something that I had done, I'd tell him to stuff it. If by some chance I allowed this and he went and talked to my T, I hope my T would have enough sense to suggest that this was a bad idea.