Hi Emily,
Switching off is not going to resolve anything. It's not an answer. I know 'cause I've made numerous attempts and once while in the state of it becoming a reality-it sunk into me that this is NOT the way to go. I started fighting like hell to stay switched on.
It's not like sleeping-it's more like going to a morgue and looking at cold, hard, pale, lifeless bodies. The reality is so permanent, absolute and devastating.
Please, breathe in-breathe in life and greenery and warmth and love and everything you take for granted that's right there at your feet.
I know it seems so useless and it feels like your heart is a stone sinking to an abyss. I understand that. But I swear to you-it passes- it lifts. Not all at once but little by little so that you don't even know that there's a difference in it's weight.
((((((((Emily))))))))))) It will be okay. I promise. Don't stop trying. You're worth fighting for!