Hi Moodmuse,
I am sorry that you and your h have your family troubles coming between you. I can understand this, I've been there. My brother stole approximately $50,000 from us when he contracted to build us a house that never happened.
As for your sis, I know you are frustrated with her. She's a user of family, too. I do feel sorry for her, though. I could so easily be her if I let myself go there, because I crave anything that helps me find a mellow mood. I fight the urges all of the time to drink to much, take too many benzos, seek out painkillers, etc.
Distance will be a good thing to put between you and your family. It has been great for us.
Bluemountains