Hi All,
It's here, my worst time of the year! My drugs are good, pretty much keeping me in check, but those little tweaks of depression are creeping in occasionally. Too many memories of bad stuff during this season manage to bring me down, but then I have to forget that and try to make good memories for my own children.
My therapist asked me at my last appointment why I am going to the family get-together of my father's family. The reason that I do it, as I explained to her, is that I need to pretend that my extended family is "normal". My father did the damage in my life, and he is gone, so they will never have to know the bad. They had a few hints when they knew him before he died, because he made inappropriate conversation with them, but that exposure was very minimal.
For me, I can't figure out why my mood swings so quickly. Last night I got so pissed at my husband because our decorations look like crap. Not important, right? We live in a new neighborhood (a result of another bp moment) and all of these houses have these very traditional all white lighted houses. Ours has 3 lighted lollipops, an electric-multicolored tree, and a big lighted snowflake. Our decorations from our old house can't be used, so we had to buy all that Target had left. Yes, I will laugh about this in the way, away future; but meanwhile I went to a neighborhood party tonight and felt the need to explain my lack of decoration sense to everyone!

Happy Holidays Hopefully!
Bluemountains