Hi Shattered Sanity, what you wrote is how it is for me. Latey most days I have just been sleeping because that's all I can do right now as there is no point because no one want's to employ me and even if I did get employed, dam never impossible chance right now, I would probably still be just and bad and break down or get fired. To tell the truth I only walk away from jobs early on because I am not sure if I could take actually being fired. It's sort of like the same as saying to yourself mean things as that's ok and it stops the things bully say hurting because I know what I am and then what they say can't hurt.

Sorry this isn't really a reply to you or help. You can only find one small thing to cling onto that's a step and once you are safe from there and settled with that thing then you can explore other routes and ways but you must have soild foundations in something to be able to build yourself back up again working through the steps that one day may lead you where you desire to be in life.

For me I guess there are a few small things that keep me here. I can only hope that in time I can again achieve or get back to working so I can make my exsistance alright in a sense and not be the me I am at the moment, that's what mostly keeps me going. The possibility of it just may happen and I would never know unless I sort of tried to see if it did indeed happen.

wishing you all the best MIP