I think you're in "survival mode." You're depressed and if you DID care, you'd probably go over the edge! We have to protect ourselves, and you're doing it by not feeling as much as you would if you were healthier. I don't think there's anything the "matter" with you other than you're very depressed, and you're protecting yourself.

If you're not in therapy, you need to be! Talk to a therapist, and take care of some issues. I know there's some you need to work on.

Best of luck and take care of YOU. God bless. Hugs, Lee