I try to talk to her about it all, but its difficult, my autism difficulties keep getting in the way But I do try to talk to her about it. Being open about it to people other than my boyfriend instead of hiding it is the first thing I'm really working on it without her help, because between the difficulty in communication on top of the difficulty trusting people because it all started after emotional abuse, its hard.

I wish there was a way to have therapy that was typing based instead of speaking based. I can't afford another therapist though. I just communicate everything about this so much better when typing and can process it better. I need to see if my therapist can have me email her in between sessions; if I email her when I'm at my worst points depression-wise then I can get across what those points are like. I can't do that speaking in her office.

And yeah, I feel like these are definitely depression symptoms. I just am sure don't have the 5 required for a Major Depression Disorder diagnosis in either the DSM-IV or DSM-5. I have varied between 2 and 4 of them for the past 4.5 years. Dysthymia requires longer time frame of depressed mood, but fewer symptoms than major depression, so its the one I'm thinking fits me.