{{{{{{hamstergirl}}}}}}

it is, and has been, a very difficult road for you. i'm glad you are able to express at least some of that here. i hope it helps to get it out a little.

even in seeming desparation you are still reaching out to people and to new things. things that haven't been working out for you, instead of giving up, you are trying other solutions even though they are difficult for you. somewhere along there is the path to some better stuff for you. some relief from the depression, some relief to the pain. you are still looking for that in life and that shows you are a survivor just like you said in your first messages here.

keep on going. i know a lot of people and professionals have disappointed you but you seem to have at least a few very trustworthy people in your life right now with your priest and your friend. keep them in your heart as a source of hope and let them advocate for you, do whatever they can, or just be there for you when you need them.

good luck hamstergirl

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--http://www.idexter.com