She's not just saying those things, she means them. My youth leader is and was the exact same way. I use to feel guilty about the late nights I caused her. My mom was a functioning addict but there were days I came home and dad would meet me at the front door with my bag and said maybe you should call and stay with B for a few days. She's now my best friend, but was often like an older sister/mother for me, especially when my mom was at her worse. I've crashed anniversaries, birthdays, holidays. And you know what, she doesn't regret a bit of it. She just feels bad that I have to deal with these struggles. And honestly, I have never regreted a single night that I have spent up late with friends in crisis. She's there because she wants to be. Let her.