WARNING TRIGGER RAPE PORN
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Sorry if I offend anyone, I'm just looking for answers.

I was raped repeatedly over the course of 9 months. It wasn't a vicious rape. It was very calculated though. Someone's intent was very clear every time. There was no exscaping it.

Any way I take great relief in watching porn. In some ways porn show me that sex is ok. It is not a horrible sport. It can be enjoyable though I've never known it to be personally. It sure looks like someone is enjoying even if it is staged.

When I am under a great deal of stress watching porn seems to send my mind away to a safe place. Maybe it is because it captivates my full attention, I don't know.

It seems quite odd that an individual who has been raped would want to watch porn. I DO NOT watch forced, drugged, or harsh sex. I prefer female friendly that makes things appear there are feelings and love involved. Even though I know this is most likely acting.

Has anyone been raped or victim of an assault or rape, or other related act and find solace in porn or am I the only weird one?