You're not crazy ((geez)). Denial is very powerful, sounds like your mom has got it down pat. You know what's happened and you are doing the right things in trying to take care and heal yourself now. Don't let her make you feel "crazy." I'm sorry she is invalidating you like this, my parents have done the same thing and have told me that I "let" the abuse happen. She does not want to own any responsibility for this occurring and sometimes that's just how they're going to act about it for the rest of their lives. It makes them uncomfortable and deep down inside they probably feel extreme guilt for letting it go on, but they find it easier to push the blame back on you or someone else. She has her own sickness.

I have so much admiration for you ((geez)) and all you have gone through/are going through. I hope you find lots of healing soon. Gentle hugs