That made me chuckle (though, it really isn't funny...) I can picture us all just chucking our "decks" in the air, in a frustrated move.

I don't deal with life. That's the problem. I don't know how to live, least not a balanced, healthy life. I can survive and occassionally fulfill goals, but there is a lot fo slamming into metaphorical wallls and bleeding involved.

I threaten suicide, completely shut down emotionally, avoid people and responsibility and run from my own dreams. I don't know another way to exist nor to I think I am capable of one. For what it's worth, this is what I am. I hate it. Thus, the endless cycle of wanting to die to not feel like this any longer.