Oh Faith, why would you feel like a failure because you have an issue with alcohol? Do you know how many FAMOUS people are alcoholic? Good grief, if I searched Google, and came up with names, I wouldn't have room here to list them all! And these are high profile, high-earning people! They're not failures just because they're alcoholics! And YOU aren't either!!!

Millions of people in the U.S. are alcoholics -- but it doesn't mean they're failures. Some do hit the skids. But not all.

If you want help, it's there for the asking. AA is open to ANYONE who wants to stop drinking. And like Madisgram suggested, you would be well served to take in some meetings and see what they're all about. Perhaps you won't like all the talk about a "higher power" but you can take what you want and leave the rest. You really DO need the support tho. AA saved my life and I didn't like all that higher power talk either, but later on I began to listen.

I wish you the very best. Congratulations on 50 days sober!!! That's a great accomplishment! I'm glad you're not going home for the holidays -- it's a good decision. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee