I feel like i wasted my life away. I'm embarrassed about it and hate being around people. I don't want anyone to ask me about myself and ask what i do or how i am doing. I am on disability and haven't worked in almost 3 years. I have a high school diploma and i was a secretary before and did clerical work all my life. I am struggling now. I have no car and live with my bf in one bedroom apartment. I have no children and i have been with bf for a long time. We planned to get married and have a family and then i found out some things and didn't want to although we stayed together. So now my life is about going from dr. appt to dr. appt and going to the pharmacy to get my meds and seeing my therapist and psych dr. other than that and running errands I do nothing. I don't have friends anymore since i stopped working due to depression. I used to go out and do things and now i have no life. My bf has friends and family and he likes to do things with them and i'm sad to be home alone. I don't want to be around his family for reasons i won't get into. So I feel like i have nothing to show for my life. I thought of taking one or two classes to at least feel good about myself that i'm doing something and to get out of the house but they would say that i could work if i could go to school and take away my benefits. I don't feel working and taking a class or two is the same thing but they will think that and i can't afford to have no income. So i'm just ranting about feeling like a loser and being embarrassed about my life. Feeling lonely and not wanting to even wake up. So many other things going on but i'm not going to continue to rant about it. Thanks for listening.