Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Syra, that's what I think happens to a lot of people, and it's so unfortunate. It's much easier to judge the results of the work of other professionals we hire in life: did the MD diagnose and treat properly is more definite; home repair can be judged by clear inspection; even in education, where the goals can be fuzzier, assessment is possible to some extent.
But when it comes to therapy, we spend a lot of money, get involved emotionally, and often it seems to be in resolving a transference that lesser trained therapists can quickly lose their way, and then it all goes downhill. And we're left to pick up the pieces. I hope you don't feel badly about not seeing the red flags because we're really not in a position to much of the time.
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Thanks. This felt very nice to read this. Sometimes I feel really stupid for not paying attention. Truth is, I SAW the flags. SEveral of them. But I ignored them (or perhaps filed them on the back burner). It felt so good and I didn't want to give up all the good feelings. I now suspect there was counter-transference going on, big time. And she didn't have the training or foundation to even conceive of it as an issue - or to pay attention to the clues. That is something I totally missed. I now suspect she was so good to me (and she was from the humanistic area which tend to have much lower boundaries) not because it was good for me, but because it made her feel like she was special T. But I can't prove it. And I don't think it was malicious and intended to be manipulative, but it still wasn't good for me, even if I did love it.