Quote:
Originally Posted by Atuin
My boyfriend's family agrees that he has mental health problems, but his mom has on more than one occasion blamed me for all of his self injury.
He is undiagnosed (lack of money, but might be diagnosed by possibly going to a psych ward) but relevant the diagnosis he's most likely to be given is major depression. His self injury without question is related to psychiatric things.
Instead "he's burnt out", "he's doing it because of you", and such.
How do I support someone who's going through a phase of depression that's at self injury when I'm being told that its my fault that he's injuring?
(Avoiding his family isn't an option unfortunately, avoiding his family triggers him, as well as not being an option for many other reasons)
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You might try saying: "The fact that you have the audacity to say such hurtful, untrue things to me is evidence that his problems are of long standing. Don't say those things to me again. They are hurtful and untrue."
I would repeat this to her as often as necessary, in a calm, firm voice. I'd like to add, with a caution that I am not a medical professional, that if he is harming himself, I do not believe that is [only] depression. He may have depression but I believe self-harm is a condition akin to drug abuse or alcoholism; in my opinion people who self-harm need treatment [not only for their depression] but also for their choosing to harm themselves physically. With that in mind, you might consider self-help groups for yourself and/or for him. You could drop into an Al-anon meeting and see if that offers you any insights.