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Old Dec 09, 2012, 11:43 AM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
((Rose))),

I really hear you, and I have been getting quite a dose of similar kinds of messages myself. I know how hard it is to keep from "folding into yourself" when this happens too. And in ways I am dependant on my husband, I could not support myself right now, and that plays into my deep sense of self worth and even "insecurity" or even guilt. My husband can be hard on me and he has some old bad habits that trigger me, and when he is tired, I become a target often too. And that triggers me to the depths of me, story of my life really.

There is a big challenge when someone who struggles with PTSD is addressing a "group" of people that "gang up somehow" in their "complete ignorance of how they are hurting the PTSD sufferer". I know what you are feeling right now, and I also know how lonely and exhausting it can be.

This is when you have to take lots of "time outs" and really give yourself a chance to slow down your mind and release the anxiety build up that takes place. You have to allow yourself to dig deep, know that you do struggle with PTSD and that it is "you" that has to self protect, inspite of how others treat you badly. I know this is very difficult Rose, I struggle with this constantly. I am actually having a really difficult day today myself because I had two days of challenge and it just wore me out.

If you need to take medication to help you through this, do so, but be responsible with it. You have to make sure that you remind yourself that you have learned a lot and you have been gaining, and no matter what these people are doing, you are going to remind yourself that you "do" have skills and you "can" be strong as a person. You do not have to accept the anxiety they push at you, you are going to slow down and think about making some positive changes in your life and work towards looking for a better surrounding for yourself.

Remember that you do have friends at PC that understand this challenge and we are all here to help you keep focused.

With that in mind Rose, I do know you want to "run" right now. But you have to step back, self sooth and slow down and make some plans for this. And it "is" going to take some time, and in the meantime, you are going to have to work on taking as much opportunity you can to "avoid conflict" and be a bit passive right now. I know that is hard, but you have to do whatever it takes until you can find that pathway out and forward for yourself, and it "will" come, but you have to be patient.

I have been helping my daughter with this kind of situation and she has called me in tears quite few times. And I keep her focused on slowing down and to just take it slowly for a while.

Rose, somewhere inside you, you have to make your mind up that it is time to trust and make some plans for some kind of new adventure that is better for you. And do whatever helps you to accept and calm and trust.

Today is Sunday, get rest and distract and don't let yourself "project". Keep working on that every chance you get Rose, and you can always come and vent here when you need the support to keep focusing on slow deep breaths and baby steps.

((((Very gentle quiet hugs, easy, take it easy Rose))))
Open Eyes
Hugs from:
Anonymous33145, beauflow, lostgman
Thanks for this!
beauflow