....this is why dreaming was invented!

drove past this woman today...actually I think it was her that drove past me...(I always study other humans)...looked to me she was completely off her face...!...but too damn calm even, about it?...so I believed she was just floating on some cloud like her life was exactly perfect

..so reactive I dwelled on feeling like an endangered species...like one of the last ones of my kind...knowing that I was facing the wrong way pretty much all the time and when I'm apparently walking forwards I am slipping further into the vacuum! the absence of purpose...into my distant future closer than my furthest past. bloody hell!..

...damn it I forgot what I was trying to write now?...took 2 steps of thought forward...discovered I was three steps behind confused the whole time.

...I guess a good 2 step thought is that if I never moved forward at all I would be so many 3 steps far behind my reality it would be suicide.

which means "so what! I slip and slide at least I keep getting up to experience it all over again...living is backwards and dying is forwards!

...and that woman?...well good on her I say....off her face...maybe what

I'm sure that curious humans sometimes watch me in my advanced state and consider my apparent euphoria to be a diabolical thing...a threat...but it aint...

and these backward steps....?
it's not about defeet