i can't help the way i feel
i am jealous, i am paranoid,i hate him , i love him,i want to be on my own, i want my children,i wish i was dead.
these are not the feelings for my abuser but my husband he has friends he made with his ex they are all close but i cannot have friends with mine and the only friend i have he hates
he checks out women on the net but i am accused of having affairs at work,
the only thing keeping me focused is work
can't wait till tomorrow back there until i come home to these feelings yet another day

i feel sick with the insecurity how do i get over it