Anytime we experience a trauma..whether directly or indirectly...if we fear because of it...then it changes us. If the fear is overwhelming, then it can result in ptsd,imo.

Events like this should not be stuffed down inside. You need to talk about this, and these things. If you can't find someone IRL, then begin sharing more here... like you did...sharing how you feel others would hate you if they knew you didn't lose anyone... why would they hate you? Do you feel you should have died instead? That's a common feeling for those who don't feel worthy of life.. imo.

I think you picked the perfect spot to discuss this. TC!