Thanks Chopin... I don't see it as disloyal to complain...everyone needs an outlet for their frustration at times...

But the difference between what I do and what H does is that I complain about things that I have said to him. If someone I complained to went to my H and said can you believe your W said...blah blah blah... he wouldn't be surprised cause I would have already shared with him that it upsets me.