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Feeling guilty about surviving is one of the symptoms of PTSD.
It obviously upset you at the time but possibly you were unable to deal with it back then.
It would be helpful for you to talk about this with someone. They sure would understand.
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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