Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1
hey all it isn't accually about being able to e-mail my T in fact the last few times i have emailed her she has said nothing .in fact once she answered me and the other she called me.she probibly wont respond to this one because it was so angry.
the problem is what i said in it .and what i said in the last session. it has shown her how selfish i really am in not caring if i live or die when i have a husband and kid,how she thinks i made fun of my doc when i didn't it is like she saw into me and how horrible i am.it was awful and to go and sit in that chair and have her see me. i never wanted her to know that part of me.she cant do anything about that part. and it feel horrible that she knws this. i don't want to see this.it is so humiliating.to much to handle
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i disagree with the bolded part, granite. that IS something you guys CAN work on and try and change. That is your deep, deep shame and fear coming into play--which was brought about by your awful childhood. Your mother made you feel like you were this horrible/bad/awful person, and children believe it with their heart and soul. Now that you are opening up more, you are convinced that she *sees* you for real. She IS seeing you more open, but I am guessing she sees you like we do. That you are in a lot of pain. That you are not horrible or awful or hateful. I mean, I'm not a therapist and I think this
