RTS ... IMHO, he is deliberately trying to hurt you by telling you what others say about you in his group. If this is how HE feels then you two need to address that, but if others who dont know you are saying bad things about you it has everything to do with the way he portrays you to them. My point being , is this his way of telling you how he feels... Kinda passive aggressive as there is nothing positive to gain from him sharing that information with you.. What is his reason other then to be hurtful?

RTS-he might have not been the one to say those things but he didn't defend you. Who lets someone call their wife names? Sounds like a lot of work needs to be done.

RTS, I agree with Lola. There's no point in sharing that information with you unless it's to hurt you or try to tell you that HE thinks the same thing and wants you change.