I've had a heap of those sessions lately too. To the point where all of a sudden I was told I would not be a good mother (like my mother wasn't to me) because I can't model healthy behaviour. Ouch. Lots and lots of other stuff like that was said too. T didn't respond to my devastation over the comments at all.

I've reached out and asked clearly for help since, and T had things going on for her, and she forgot that I'd said I was desperate (first time in four years). We've had sessions where the person I know didn't seem to be there at all and she spoke to me as if I was a stranger. I could have gone to see any new distant, cold, removed T for a first time and had the same experience.

I understand the shutting down feeling. I know I have, because suddenly the safety has gone. I understand the starting at square one feeling too. Boundaries have changed for me and it's left me feeling worse and like T is inaccessible. I can't imagine her out there in the world, or rely on her support (being somewhere out there for me). It's all gone. It was something that had been improving for me, based on what we were doing, and now she's taken that stuff away. It helped me feel better about myself for the first time in my life. I've gone backwards in terms of how I 'm coping, and our relationship seems to have taken a huge step backwards too.

It's really shaken things up, but it's brought up a lot of important stuff. I hope we'll get through it and that in the end it will be valuable to my therapy. I hope you get through this and get something valuable out if it long before I do! Maybe it was just a weird one off disconnected session?

Sorry that was a bit long.