I want to live and I want to die. I'm just trying to figure out which desire is stronger.

My eyes are stinging with sleepiness, but I can't bring myself to go to bed.

I'm so very hungry and so very full and so very lacking the will and desire to eat.

I want to run away and be free and happy. Where would I go, how would I survive?

I know myself better than anyone else ever could, but I don't know myself at all, and that's very scary.

I want someone to help me, to hold me, to love me, I want to be alone, by myself, in the dark, for forever.

I want to live, and I want to die. Which desire is stronger?