Hi there Jenefer -
When I was in college I would purposely register for full time knowing all I could do was part time. That way I could attend all the classes to get a feel for them and which ones fit me at that moment and then drop those that did not fit me at that moment. That way I could focus my energy and time on the ones that were right for me and do good in them. By doing it this way my college transcript had all passing grades which helps with financial aid student loans later on down the road. Abank is more apt to loan money to a student who has a record for excelling in the courses that they did not drop, and a drop on the transcript looks better then an "incomplete" because you can say with a "drop" that you signed up for the courses to get a feel for where your focus should be, but what can you tell the financial people about an incomplete - I didn't get to finish because... and they see someone sitting in front of them making excuses for not making up the work in a timely manner or even caring to so their education must not be as important then they are portraying rightnow.

There is no shame in dropping courses, and I think it is great that you were able to recognize your limits of time and so on and were able to drop those courses. If it turns out that you need thoses courses that you dropped you can always register for them later on down the road when you have the time and focus needed in order to do them.

Sorry to hear you were in the hospital. Hospitals can become tiresome and a real pain in the tush. For me they don't work and when a therapist in the past hospitalized me she saw I was not benefitting from it so she did not hospitalize me again. instead we found other techniques that worked.

So maybe you can sit down with your therapist and discuss whether or not you are benefitting and what those benefits are for you. and if its not helpig to put you in to the hospital maybe the two of you can start putting in place a different type of therapy plan which will enable you to not be hospitalized so much. Therapists plan their clients therapy sessions based on what that client needs, and the only way they know what their clients needs are is if the client tells them before they end up being hospitalized what they need during those hard times that are leading to th e hospitalizations.

By the way therapists legally cannot tell a person who they can be friends with and who they can't be friends with. Doing so is considered unethical. a therapist works with clients so that they become more independant of the therapist and less isolated. Telling a client to stop calling their friends is considered isolating a client and is the first sign of abuse.That right there is grounds for reporting tthe therapist to her/his supervisor and your state board of certified and or licensed clinical social workers for official investigation into his/her therapy practices with you and all that therapist other clients as well for abusing clients.

If this was me I would be calling the therapist's supervisor and placing a report and a request to be switched to a different therapist within the agency. Once I have made that call I would not meet with that abusive therapist alone to discuss the situation.

You have every right to and can contact your friends any time you want to. so go right ahead and do it. that therapist cannot legally enforce their request that you cannot be contact your friends.

So what that friend doesn't answer her phone and you land in the hospital the therapist still is out of line ethically, morally and legally by telling you not to contact that friend.

It is up to you not your therapist, to decide your friends and if you want to put up with this type of friendship.and it also wasnt your friend not answering the phone that put you into the hospital. That is like saying my best friend is to blame for my cutting if she is not home when I am feeling like I want to cut and because she does not answer the phone I go ahead and cut. Im the one that is making the the choice to cut. my friend is not the one standing her putting the blade in my hand. I have options regardless of who my friends are, those choices are take care of myself by using my grounding techniques and other tools that I have learned in and out of therapy to take care of myself and if I (not my friends) don't take care of me then my ending up in the hospital could very well happen.

Its not my friends responsibility to answer every one of my calls because I may land in the hospital if they don't. Whether or not I land in the hospital is MY responsibiility not my friends.

I have alot of friends but they work or live in other states so alot of times they can not be here for m e by phone and that also isn't their fault that I have sertain friends that I call with sertain situations. Like if I need medical help I always call one specific person. and its not her fault that I rely on her for that. its MY responsibility to have other things too incase she is not available which has happened more than once where she was at work and I have needed medical help.

Mental health is the same way if a person is unavailable for whatever reasons be it a person has only one friend or lots of friends its the persons responsibility to have other options available for the times that chosen friend is not available.

You know your friend is not very relaible when it comes to crisis situations so now its time for you to set up other options for future crisis situation in the event that that friend is unavailable.

And you have lots of options available to you so you are not alone -

psych central and other on line support groups for venting needs not crisis needs
your therapist name and number
your local ER
hotlines like Suicide hotlines
local crisis centers
Check with your area's mental health agencies and locate a real time support group and or therapy groups
Classes like anger management, depression management, self injury management and so on

There are lots of options open to you but only you can do the work of locating them and particiapting in them.

and by the way just because a friend is unable to "do" crisis situations does not mean they are not a good friend.

SKR is not my therapist anymore but she is a friend and she has no choice but to be unavailable to me during crisis situations. This doesn't mean she is a bad friend. It just means that - I - have to accept (and do) that she cannot do crisis situations with me and that - I - have to and do accept her for how she is now in our relationship.And for those situations in which I can no longer bring to her - I - have to have other options to use.

I have a good friend that has been there for me for 14 years. She cannot do any more then be a long distance support person who I can vent to and when she can she offers her expertise and advise. But she has a very full life raising a family and teaching and so on that limits what she can do with and for me. That doesn't make her a bad friend it just means that - I - have to (and do) accept her as she is and what she can be and do for and with me.

No matter what type of friendship it is between two people there are limits to what that friend can do for another. That doesn't make them a bad friend. It just means that in order to be that persons friend you have to accept the person how there are and what they can offer within the friendship. and going against that persons limits is considered not being a good friend.

I would not be a good friend to SKR if I kept showing up on her doorstep expecting her to help me when I am in crisis now that she is not my thereapist but is now my friend.

I would not be a good friend to my friend of 14 years if I started demanding more contact from her then her life and time allows.

In lasting friendships you accept the person for who they are and what they can offer during the friendship NOT by taking and forcing them to be and do what we want them to do and be.

You can still be this persons friend but part of that is knowing she cannot be there for you 100% of the time and that includes crisis situation. Its that friends right to not answer her phone or door when she is not in the mood for company. Its your responsibility to look for other options for when you need what this friend cannot do.

Since alters are trigger related taknig care of this situation now by setting up other options to be used when your friend is unavailable will also prevent your acting out as this alter in this type of situation again.