Platinum,
I'm sorry and yes it does hurt to be used by others, either emotionally or financially. In my experience I feel they often go hand in hand.
After my experience with my ex-I shut down emotionally dealing with the pain and fear and went into isolation. During that time period I took a very close look at myself and others to see who were "really" friends. I eliminated most people who I felt were toxic and had used me, ignored me, and basically were just there for amusement. I did this slowly and carefully to both examine my actions as well as theirs.
Over the past couple months I have tried to get out of my isolation and reach out again to a new person as well as some old friends. The results seem to be the same. It does hurt.
I must again go back and examine myself and actions as well as theirs. I have been used and continue to be used. I never really realize it until after the fact. This stems from my own vulnerability and desire to try to a normal part of society and my lack of boundaries. I find the bottom line is if I dont treat someone in a certain manner I dont expect or deserve to be treated badly....do unto others.
My new friend has had me "foot the bill" 3 times. The only three time we have gone out...forgetting her credit card, ect, ect. I never do this and dont expect it to be done to me. I am a single, broke mom, I must take care of me. My job is not to pay for someone else.
One of my closest friends for over 10 years actually lived with me rent free, utility free for over a year when times were good. She was no where to be found when times were bad, when I had a baby. Not so much as a bottle of wine and girl talk. In fact the only time I am contacted is when she has man problems and she wants to talk...and of coarse although financially successful now will never even have the courtesy to come over. I am still the hostess...to provide for someone else. Sorry diapers and food is my priority...you want wine you bring it. Otherwise my home is NOT is bar.
I've also noticed 2 other people I have reached out to have the exact same pattern. They want to hang out, yet they want me to provide. These people are doing very well financially...and I do not ***** about finances to them yet I do not put up fronts.
I think if we are vulnerable this can happen so easily.
Its really a shame!!
Its time to re-examine things again...as this seems to be something I allow. Not OK.
Do you notice this with just your one friend or others as well? Its hard to see especially when they tell u they care...and you really want to believe they do.
Actions not words....
Hugs,
C