My Support Forums - View Single Post - Daily Comments #5- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

Nammu · Dec 10, 2012, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by radio_flyer

Things aren't always "pretty" when one stands up for themselves.

When you let people squeeze you into their mold, when you bow down to their pressure and try to please all the critics, it takes away your power. It takes away your uniqueness. - Joel Osteen

I love that quote. How apt it is.
Since the surgery I have given away my power, my rights to services and let others turn me into bitter pain ridden *****. Have I given it away or has my power been sucked away one excuse after another? I'm not sure theres any difference anymore or that it matters. I know that if I had money none of this would have happened, money is the only voice that speaks in this country.

The more they drag on at getting services going that should have started the week I got home("I'm sooo sorry this is happening"--I don't want to hear you are sorry, I want to see results. I think--don't know but I'm guessing that in Britain and Canada and other places w/ national health, these things are set up before you are released from the hospital, and that they make sure there is a way to get Rx's and food into the house the first week, and that the patient isn't Left on there own to pay a stranger to drop them off at pharmacies and groceries stores alone to try and reach items on bottom and top shelfs? Alone to drag things around and put them away, what a laugh, no lifting, no car-ring more than 10lbs, no bending, to twisting, right lets see you go though you normal day doing none of those things w/o help. Thank goodness for friendly folks both those who come forward and ask to help and those I have asked to help, they all did so and w/ kindness. Wish some of them passed though my house, but there I'm on my own. None-the-less That day took everything out of me for days, and started the emotional ride down to the pits. The long dark of the night is back coloring everything I see and do. I've never felt more alone nor helpless. Don't you dare tell me how strong I am, I shouldn't(don't tell me about shoulds and shouldn'ts, I'm not in the mood.) have to deal with this crap on top of everything else-(god I want a shower!!!!!!). The more of a monster I turn into, the more unlikely it is anyone will ever want to come here, I just want it to end. It becomes a viscous self defeating circle. Here I sit going into the third week with out a shower, no clean bedding, and my roar has become the incessant whine of an pest insect. If one more person tries to tell me how strong I am I feel I am going to break.