it sounds like you have anxiety issues. You don't need to worry about making your counselor feel uncomfortable. That is their job... and believe me, they have heard it all. I think it is a good thing that you asked for a male therapist. As for your anxiety about going, that is normal. Eventually, you will get to the point where you trust your t enough to not worry about what you are going to say, etc. It takes time. But I realy think that you are making the right decision to go back to therapy. I will be thinking about you and I hoping things go well. Let us know how it goes!